I haven’t updated this thing in over 6 months. Forgot I actually had it TBH. Things are what they are with me. 424 days clean and sober. Still cooking at the Cafe. Buried my best friend Monday. But I’m good. Things been solid and I am just trying to be the best dad I can be to my daughters and my son. Too old to live for hate or regret.
Left we have Plain Bagels, next to.it Everything Bagels, Philly Muffins, Sour Dough and Brioche.
Selling this digital vape 💨 . Only had for about 3 weeks and I rarely use it. I am quitting 🛑 smoking 🚬 AND vaping all together! I spent $50 for the vape, $25 for the juice and the battery was $10. I am asking for $40. As you see it comes with the charger 🔌, the box 📦 , brand new coil, two different tips, owners manual and I’ll throw in the juice 🧃 which is as you see strawberry 🍓 Pom 50mg. HMU ASAP!!
Been so busy with work and school haven’t had time to update this site so here is an update. Line cooking again and going to Drex in July!! #iamagod #fuckLBHalfJMLandthephadelphiacourts
Damn! 6 months free of drugs! No coke, no heroin going through my veins! I’ve come a LONG way and I have a major amount of self pride. Working again as a line cook, attending zoom meetings everyday and working a program that best suits me. I live by the moment cause idk wtf will happen 24 seconds from now let alone 24 hours. I am in a recovery house setting called Gaudenzia Re-Entry and am the senior coordinator and I am HAPPY! We as addicts are the most talented people in the universe and deserve all the happiness cause we crawled thru a river of shit and DESERVE to come out clean on the other end!
愛する to you all!
I think about my past a LOT and the things I’ve done. I know I have to get over it and move on cause the past is the past and I CANNOT change it. The hundreds of women I used just for sex and hurt, the now 20yo daughter I have that I don’t know because I did not want to be a father. The extreme violence I committed thinking I was a gangster when I was anything BUT. My past keeps haunting me in my dreams and that I feel I cannot escape. Took 38 years but I FINALLY developed a conscious.
And then the drugs. I always did coke which was a weekend thing, drinking never been an issue but out of all people I turned to heroin because of a motorcycle accident BUT that is not an excuse. I chose to stick a $2 bill in my nose and then a needle. I could, as I said use my mother’s death as an excuse or my accident but why? It does NOT take away the problems, it only suppress them for a SHORT, BRIEF, period.
I have used excuses most of my life to justify my actions. But there are NO ustifications for anything. I should have been a father to Mea instead of a scared little BOY, I should not have sold drugs, I should have not shot people, I should have NEVER stuck a needle in my arm.
With all this, what I am writing is a story I share because I KNOW I can help another not go down that path of loneliness, emptiness, incarceration, and PURE stupidity. I WILL keep sharing my story though I hate my past self I AM a better person today then I ever was. My mental is right, my body is a temple and most importantly my SPIRIT is correct.
If you struggle with anything, trust me it DOES get better. It just takes time. It took me TEN years to get over my mother’s death but today I am at peace it and myself.
If no one told you today I will, I love you and you are just as important as ANYONE.
Our five senses can access only a tiny frequency range, like a radio tuned to one station. In the space you are occupying now are all the radio and television stations broadcasting to your area. You can't see them and they can't see each other because they are on different wavelengths. But move your radio dial and suddenly there they are, one after the other. It is the same with the reality we experience here as "life". What we call the "world" and the "universe" is only one frequency range in an infinite number sharing the same space.
