Merry NP Christmas

Santa really thought he could touch down in North Philly like it was some Hallmark movie, and the second he hit the pavement the reindeer took one look at the block, heard one distant “yo,” and launched themselves back into the sky like they had warrants. 

Meanwhile Santa’s jogging after them, out of breath, sack bouncing around, while three dudes in hoodies just stand there mean mugging him like he parked in someone’s shoveled out spot. Rudolph’s already three rooftops away, Donner’s doing 90 over Broad and Santa’s realizing this is the only city where even mythical creatures know to double park with the flashers on.