Hey Sianni

Life Observation

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in this existence by mistake. I accept life on its terms, not mine. When I tried to control everything I found absolutely no happiness or peace. But what did I expect having lived a life of pure chaos and anarchy. I no longer try and change the world to accommodate me (which never, ever worked) I understand the only thing I can control is my behaviors, my attitude, my outlook on things and no one else's but mine.

Trials and tribulations are a natural part of existence and so are problems and errors. They will arise, how you deal with them is key. For me, if I make a error, I take my error, analyze it, and figure out what I did wrong before it becomes a mistake and correct it so it never happens again. The difference between an error and a mistake is that anyone can make an error, but that error doesn't become a mistake until it is refused to be corrected. If refused, each minor problem will become like a grain of sand, and in time, the desert will be eventually inherited and I've inherited the desert on many nights because everything revolved around me (imagine that) so I shouldn't have any problems, I'm just too perfect for problems and should go through life unscathed. The person who aims for perfection in everything achieves it in nothing. 

This life of mine that I have lived and continue to live through has caused me pain and in some instances great pain, half due to my own ignorance such as trying to impress people that could care less about me but I desperately crave their attention for some reason, and the other half through natural pain with family, friends, and others and before I did not know how to navigate through the pain and I use to always cry and whine when things went sideways for me. Boohoo, poor little ol' me and when people weren't paying attention to me, why isn't anybody paying attention to me? As I stomp my feet like a child. 

The 100% undeniable fact in life is that life is a storm, you bask in the sunlight one moment, shattered upon the rocks the next, things may become extremely dark in that storm while it's raging, but personally I will not allow the darkness to cast its shadow over me for long. I will FOREVER and ALWAYS fight for the view of the sunshine! I accept things for the way they are, and FINALLY (LOL) realize that things do not revolve around my own little world as I once and forever thought they did. So to whatever storm that comes raging in the future you will no longer hear me cry "WHY ME" and look for sympathy and attention but will hear my battle cry of "TRY ME" because only I can fuck up and stop the happiness and peace I've found nobody else can, no one has the power over me to do that but me. Iam, believe it or not, LUCKY to have gone through what I have gone through. It has made me, molded me into the person I am deeply proud of and I wouldn't change it for anything. 

Since I have adopted and put into practice this new, BEAUTIFUL, peaceful, serene lifestyle, life has been a lot easier, more enjoyable and surprisingly entertaining. Every trial, every tribulation I am truly am humbley grateful for. I no longer believe that the world owes me anything WELL except maybe an apology for some shit, that would be nice, I am happy and free it's a beautiful thing and so are you people.