Me Happy!

 

Never Give In, Never Give Up

 

My Work Ethic is FAR Superior Than 99.9% Of Humanity!

 

6 MONTHS CLEAN AND SOBER BITCH ASS WIGGERS!

Damn! 6 months free of drugs! No coke, no heroin going through my veins! I’ve come a LONG way and I have a major amount of self pride. Working again as a line cook, attending zoom meetings everyday and working a program that best suits me. I live by the moment cause idk wtf will happen 24 seconds from now let alone 24 hours. I am in a recovery house setting called Gaudenzia Re-Entry and am the senior coordinator and I am HAPPY! We as addicts are the most talented people in the universe and deserve all the happiness cause we crawled thru a river of shit and DESERVE to come out clean on the other end! 

愛する to you all!

The NEW DMD

 

BURN 🔥

 

Always Be On Top Of Your Game

 

Pretty Much My HONKEY’s!

 

Play The Tape Through!

 

420

 

I don’t know what to do!

 

Serene

 

Couldn’t Word It Any Better

 

And May The Lordess Bless You

 

Exactly!!!

 

Too Funny NOT To Share

 

Started Work Today

 Been over a year since a last worked and it felt pretty damn good TBH. Things are progressing the right way, new baby on the way due July 25, 2021, 5 + months COMPLETELY sober and going back to school in the summer. I am proud of the way I turned what I use to parentheses “life” cause it was anything but! TODAY there are NO parentheses cause I it IS a LIFE!!!

I IS A Badass!

 

Yes There Is!

 

#Throwback

 

Here is something that is #BEYOND #rare anymore, a WORKING $.50 #payphone!!! It’s at Chelten Rail Station.  I remember back in the day putting m80’s in the coin slot for the money. Don’t act like you didn’t do it or think of it!!

Just DON’T

 

Mandy Sacs!

 

Life’s Motto #2

 

It’s My Birthday!! 🥳

 

Happy Rex Manning Day

 

Thoughts 💭

I think about my past a LOT and the things I’ve done. I know I have to get over it and move on cause the past is the past and I CANNOT change it. The hundreds of women I used just for sex and hurt, the now 20yo daughter I have that I don’t know because I did not want to be a father. The extreme violence I committed thinking I was a gangster when I was anything BUT. My past keeps haunting me in my dreams and that I feel I cannot escape. Took 38 years but I FINALLY developed a conscious.

And then the drugs. I always did coke which was a weekend thing, drinking never been an issue but out of all people I turned to heroin because of a motorcycle accident BUT that is not an excuse. I chose to stick a $2 bill in my nose and then a needle. I could, as I said use my mother’s death as an excuse or my accident but why? It does NOT take away the problems, it only suppress them for a SHORT, BRIEF, period. 

I have used excuses most of my life to justify my actions. But there are NO ustifications for anything.  I should have been a father to Mea instead of a scared little BOY, I should not have sold drugs, I should have not shot people, I should have NEVER stuck a needle in my arm. 

With all this, what I am writing is a story I share because I KNOW I can help another not go down that path of loneliness, emptiness, incarceration, and PURE stupidity. I WILL keep sharing my story though I hate my past self I AM a better person today then I ever was. My mental is right, my body is a temple and most importantly my SPIRIT is correct. 

If you struggle with anything, trust me it DOES get better. It just takes time. It took me TEN years to get over my mother’s death but today I am at peace it and myself. 

If no one told you today I will, I love you and you are just as important as ANYONE.

The Best Feeling

 

Poet

 

Scientist

 

Preacher

 

Labor

 

Blessed Be