“To suffer woes which hope thinks infinite; to forgive wrongs darker than death or night; to defy power, which seems omnipotent; to love, and bear; to hope till hope creates from its own wreak the thing it contemplates; neither to change, nor falter, nor repent; this, like thy glory, titan, is to be good, great and joyous, beautiful and free, this alone life, joy, empire and victory”
"🇮🇹 Perdonami e abbi pietà di me. Proteggimi dalla punizione della tomba e dal tormento del fuoco. 🇮🇹"
“No man can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which one may be true” -Hawthorne
CHAPTER ONE: A Simply Intro
Life definitely is series of ups and down’s and my life is no different say one; that every choice that I have ever made was done fully knowing and understanding what the rewards or the consequences could be. I have never been one to live by excuses. They, to my personal belief, are for the weak minded and weak willed. Now taking responsibility for the actions of my past is 50-50 and well that is a whole different animal that I’ll dive into a bit later.
I am the baby of my immediate family and the only son. I have two elder sisters D.T. and D.J. I come from a blue collar family. My mom was a woman who worked since the age of 16 till her untimely death at 61. She was the main provider, the glue, my mommy. She gave me anything and everything, sometimes to a fault because of me being the baby, and in no way where the choices I made her fault. I chose to act a fool and I expected things to be handed to me because they usually were.
My father......I love him and we do have a solid relationship and I am truly lucky and grateful that I had two parents in my life for 28 years when so many people don’t even have one for one day and that my parents were married for 40+ years and provided a stable home but it’s kind of hit and miss with the dude. My father....the best way to explain it is that sometimes I wish my father was a father and not a friend to me. That when I would do something that was in all honesty completely wrong he would have stepped in and would have put a reality check to me about how things truly are kind of the way my mom tried but I was too stubborn to heed. Coming from a man would have had more weight to it so to speak. Though I wish for that, again everything I ever done was choices I made to do fully knowing what I was going to do regardless.
CHAPTER TWO: Trouble Early
Coming from where I do you grow up faster than you should. I knew about sex, drugs, violence, prostitutes, heroin addicts, drunks and such probably since the age of five. This was not because of “television” where people who don’t want to admit they suck as parents place blame it was just the neighborhood of Kensington.
My parents bought the house in 1971 when the neighborhood was working class. Not great but a family neighborhood not the zombie land, trashed garbage it has become today. My mother never moved because she felt why should she. She was just set in her ways and she felt that this was where she is and it’s where she stays. “The neighborhood won’t force me out” sometimes I wish she wasn’t as stubborn as she was because she deserved more than Kensington. She busted her ass for 40+ years and never really got the chance to enjoy the fruits of her labor. I do understand why she felt the way she did NOW but then I couldn’t grasp it. I always do ponder what life could have been like if she listened to my father and did move to the NE or into F-Town or into Feasterville how life would have turned out. Maybe I’d have been one of those yuppies with the white picket fence in suburbia with a shiatsu and a closet case homo with a hidden heroin addiction......who knows.
CHAPTER THREE: Chaos
I always had been addicted to a life of insanity, always in the middle of something. Just being a trouble maker was always fun. Doing things normal kids wouldn't even think about. Even young my greatest ambition was to die in a hail of bullets with the cops and forever be remembered by the streets as the bit of chaos crammed into a certifiable giggle I carved myself out to be.
Being a part of The Track Crew aka CMF is what I enjoyed. We were called this cause the rail road was right there and me and we were all Crazy Motha Fuckaz. A few friends and I would walk up the Village by the Factory and fuck around on the tracks all day. Throw rocks at SEPTA or the traffic below depending on what bridge we were near, be chased by Conrail and Dodge being shot by salt guns. Train hop.
I would do whatever it took to make money. I sold drugs on the streets, was the first individual to sell heroin in Kensington at the age of 13 (1995). Before the heroin it really only was just a weed or Xanax paradise but I helped change it.
1995 is when I really began my decent into the streets with the aforementioned drug dealing but before that came....
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